Expanding on the Everyday

Nothing matters. In a good way.

Ok, the title is admittedly misleading. Yes, things matter. People dying—matters, being able to get over your biggest fear—matters, making a difference in the world—matters.  However, those things that actually matter RARELY are what end up mattering in the moment.

When you realize that you’re not nearly as good at something, or as remarkable as you thought you were…that really doesn’t matter. Whether or not someone specific wants to get into your pants (or wants you in theirs)…doesn’t really matter, and shouldn’t really matter to them either.  Things happen. Accept them, interpret them, and move along. Not eating for a day…won’t kill you.  Getting your attitude adjusted…can only help you. Either way, things like this really are not the globally affective events we like to pretend they might be.

But really, the worst that will happen after these non-mattering events, like bombing an interview, is that your life stays exactly the same. BFD. Or that your life experiences a temporary set-back, but you end up back on your feet in no time. The best that will happen is a slight change in situation, in circumstance and surroundings.  However, rarely is there a significant, or even slight, change in temperament or in satisfaction.

What matters is not the specific situation or given circumstances.  Rather, it is the approach we take to any situation that we need to confront that matters.

The amount of time wasted worrying about the future outcome of something, the time spent creating alternative scenarios and what each would mean, gives credence and importance to whatever the given situation is.  Preoccupation with an event or an outcome leaves us powerless, believing that we will only be able to reach a higher level of satisfaction by achieving an arbitrary result. 

 The truth, however, is that regardless of the outcome of any circumstance, the ability to be happy or satisfied with whatever comes is pragmatic and allows you to fully embrace the idea of being in control of your life. This is not settling.  Being happy with whatever comes your way, literally transcending circumstance, is the only way to truly encounter a happiness removed from temporary happiness.

So instead of relishing in an ability to paint, we must relish in the act of painting. Instead of waiting for the day when our diet will be done, we must relinquish the control that processed-sugars and fast food have on our mind, seeing the greatness found in naturally occurring food. Instead of critiquing every inch of our relationships, reaching for a perfection that is not even definable, we need to see the beauty in what we have.

Just like everything else, it’s a process.

But really, this process is one of the only things that DOES matter.